Lost Boy: I saw Pirates! I saw Indians! Not only did I see Pirates, and Indians, but I saw a wonderfuller thing. High over the lagoon I saw the loveliest, great, white bird. It is flying this way. It looks weary and as it flies it moans, “Poor Wendy”. I think there are birds called Wendies. See, here it comes! Look how white it is. Hey, there’s Tinkerbell. Tink is trying to hurt the Wendy. She says Peter wants us to shoot the Wendy. Let us do what Peter wishes. Out of my way, Tink. I’ll shoot it. I’ve shot the Wendy! Peter will be so pleased!
Dasharn. What an awesome piece of writing. I love your use of words, and the 'made up word 'wonderfuller'.. it adds an interesting character to the piece. The short sentences at the end give your writing a sense of speed. Shorter sentences do that.. create fast paced action. I'd like to see more that you could write. Where could you take this first short piece?
ReplyDeletethx for this is an alright piece of writing
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